I found a "good" transmission from a wrecker for $350, expecting another $350 in labour. I looked at the repair manual but I think changing a transmission is beyond my skills.
I had a better look over the car when I got home from work and couldn't find any evidence of smash repairs. I am quite impressed with the body.
Through eBay I ordered a set of door handle seals and new wheel badges. Sure the transmission's stuffed and the engine's leaking all of its oil, but at least it will start to look nicer.